Libido

The main points

Libido is the sexual instinct or erotic desire and pleasure.
Many people will experience low libido or changes in libido at some time in their lives.
Changes in libido can occur due to life changes, hormonal fluctuations, medication, medical problems, psychological reasons, relationship quality and lifestyle.
There is no ‘normal’ level of desire. It is common for partners to have different levels of desire. See a health professional if your libido level is concerning you or is negatively impacting your quality of life.

Libido is the sexual instinct or erotic desire and pleasure. Your libido is sometimes referred to as your 'sex drive'. Libido varies from person to person and can be influenced by various factors. Loss or reduction of libido can be experienced at any age. It may result in a reduced desire to have sex and/or sexual experiences that are no longer satisfying or pleasurable.

Many people will experience low libido at some time in their life. This may be over a long time or short term, such as after the birth of a baby, during a stressful life period or when a relationship is strained.

Low libido can become an issue in relationships when one partner wants sex more often than another. This is called ‘desire discrepancy’ and can cause conflict and unhappiness..

It's normal for desire to fluctuate and there may be many reasons for this.

Some of the reasons for libido changes include:

Changes in hormone levels

during pregnancy
after childbirth
when breastfeeding/chestfeeding
during the menstrual cycle
during menopause
due to the normal ageing process

Medication

Medications such as antidepressants and some oral contraceptive pills may affect libido.

Lifestyle

A lack of rest, relaxation, recreation and suitable exercise may affect libido. Drug and alcohol use may affect libido.

Psychological influences

These psychological influences can each affect libido by making you feel negative and/or hesitant about having sex:

Stress
Depression and anxiety
Poor body image
Feelings of resentment, shame or guilt about sex
Past experiences of sex including abuse and trauma.

Your relationship

Relationships can have a big influence on libido. If your relationship is having difficulties and/or the sexual intercourse you are having is causing distress or discomfort it is difficult to feel sexually inclined towards your partner or partners and your willingness to engage in sex will be reduced. Relationship influences include:

End of the 'honeymoon' period of the relationship
Being time-poor or feeling too tired/fatigued for sex
Poor sexual compatibility or partner sexual problems
Experiencing problems other than sexual such as financial issues.

Medical conditions

Medical conditions that can influence libido include:

endometriosis
pelvic inflammatory disease
a uterine or vaginal prolapse
haemorrhoids
anaemia due to fatigue
hypothyroidism (underactive thyroid gland)
kidney failure
infections (such as thrush or urinary tract)
erectile and ejaculatory conditions
pelvic pain
chronic pain conditions.

Some of these conditions can lead to painful sex (dyspareunia) or involuntary spasms of the pelvic floor muscles ('vaginismus') that reduce the desire for sex.

There is no ‘normal’ level of desire for sexual intercourse. However, if your libido level worries you or is very different from your partner's and this causes you concern, there are several things you can do to improve the situation. Finding a solution to the problem involves determining what may be affecting your libido and then trying strategies to manage these factors. The most important thing to remember is that just because one person in the relationship has a lower level of libido than the other, this doesn't mean there is something wrong with either person. It is when the difference in libido is causing problems that you may need to seek help to manage the issue.

Maintain a healthy lifestyle by being physically active, eating a healthy diet and reducing your alcohol and drug intake
Find ways to reduce stress and take time out to relax regularly
Improving communication between you and your partner
Exploring that sex is not only penetrative intercourse but includes touching, kissing, holding, trusting and/or oral stimulation. Talk about this with your partner.

Seek advice

If your libido is causing you concern you may want to seek advice from a health professional, with your partner if appropriate. Some of the following can help:

Treatment for any underlying illness or medical condition
Lifestyle changes
Hormone therapy (if appropriate)
Medication for erectile or ejaculatory conditions
Medication changes
Antidepressants (certain antidepressants may be more suitable, others can reduce libido)
Stress management
Relationship counselling if appropriate and safe
Counselling with a therapist who specialised in sexual concerns.

Sexual Health Victoria
A doctor or nurse
A gynaecologist
A sexual therapist
A psychologist
A urologist
Your local community health service
Jean Hailes
Healthy Male
Multicultural Centre for Women’s Health - for culturally and linguistically diverse women.
The Women's (The Royal Women’s Hospital)
1800Respect

Clinic

Telephone: 03 9257 0100 or freecall 1800 013 952

Fax: 03 8691 1739

What is libido

What affects libido

How can you manage and treat low libido?

Where to get more information and support

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